Sunday, March 27, 2011

Three way marriage

Like Stev, nothing much happened this week.  Todd was in town for Calvin's SB so we hung out on Friday night.  Actually, we had a pretty good time, set up a BP table in my basement, neither of us had played in a while.  Then we went out to Muldoon's and as usual, we ran into some old HS classmates.  This time it was some of the guys who stayed in town and went to Wheaton College to play football.  I asked one of them about why he thinks so many of the kids from the Christian schools get married so early.  First thing he said was something like how he went to 8 weddings in the past year, just for football teammates alone.  These are all kids my age, if not younger.  Ridiculous.  He told me that he believes they get married so young because they're relationships are formed around their faith, so it is a marriage of 3: Him, her and God.  This marriage of 3, or "Three way marriage" as Dre puts it, seems like it would be the ideal, cookie cutter response to these kids getting married so young.

What doesn't make sense to me about this is, why can't the relationship be "three way" when they are just dating?  Aside from the joint bank accounts/assets, status, rings and ceremonies (all of which aren't THAT important in the long run) the only difference I can see between going out and being married is the sex, at least for these couples who believe in abstinence, which happens to be most that go to these Christian schools.  Now, I would be hard pressed to get any of the 3 couples I know who got engaged last week to admit that sex was a factor for marriage.  Granted, it would be a too much information kind of statement, but I dare one of these couples to admit it to me.  The other problem I see with getting married this young is that you are limiting yourself to something.  Example, Nicole's fiancé lives out in Colorado.  She's effectively limiting her professional career to something/someplace in his area.  I'm sure she will be happy, but could she have been happier if she could have searched the entire nation/world for a job.

I think Anderson is doing it right.  He is still dating Jackie and they are both cool with that.  Also, they love each other but they are realistically in love.  None of this puppy love crap.  They know that their careers and financial situations transcend their feelings for each other.  Anderson just got a job with Piedmont Airlines as a pilot for them.  Congratulations to that man again.  He will be in Charlotte, NC for training while Jackie will be in the Chicagoland area looking into getting into financial things.  In the end though, their situation won't be clouded by "Well, we're married, so we NEED to make this work"...It's more, "Well, we're dating, so we WANT to make this work"...I think that by staying dating, they put less strain on they're relationship and it will be better for them in the long run when they finally do find themselves in a situation where they can get married.

I'm probably just bitter about it, for good reason though.

On a different note, my sister will be moving to a bigger apartment next weekend.  It's also closer to the bar scene downtown, so we'll have a good place to crash while downtown.

Also, I think that if it's cool with Wheeler and the rest of 1502, I would like to eventually have a reunion in Pescadero, CA, where Wheeler's mom has a summer home.  It's gorgeous, on a bluff, tons a land we could bring the dirt bikes out and its in wine country.  Just a thought.  Until then, I will take 3 or 4 of us meeting up in the midwest.  I can't wait until Easter weekend, the only time I went to Dominik's was awesome.

Here's to one month from now,

Chin

1 comment:

  1. I am 100% down for that Cali reunion. I've been thinking about making a trip there anyways, and I am all for us trying to make it happen sometime in the summer...while my responsibilities are at a all time low.

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